Missing You

Okay, so this isn't about anything cool that has happened, just me raving about my homesickness.....I am on a 4 day break from school right now and lots of people went home so i have a lot of time to just sit alone and think and that is not good. Last night i got to talk to my mom, like actually talk for the first time via a video call on messenger and i got to see her, my brother, my dad and my cat and her babies and my dog and it was so nice. When i woke up this morning i heard a voice outside my room and my first thought was that it was Trevor and I was like, "god, will he ever shut up?" but then i opened my eyes and realized that I wasn't at home. It was so dissappointing, the talk with people right before going to bed really made me feel like i was at home and it sucked realizing i wasn't. And then earlier today I was looking at some pictures some of my friends have on the internet and I started crying because i see them all having fun together and I am not there...I feel almost as if I have died and I am sitting up in heaven watching everyone else go on with life. I just have to ay to everyone that I am sorry I left you. I know you will just say I dont need to but I can't help but feel guilty seeing you all go on with life and I am not there to share it with you....I feel really bad that I am not there to see everyone grow and change. I feel like a parent that can't see there kids grow up, especially with you younger friends of mine....some of you are seniors and I don't get to be there to see you expirience this awesome year of your lives!! I feel so bad about that, I am sorry!!!!! Next year I am coming home every weekend to see everyone!!!! Well, I am kinda crying now so I need to go blow my nose, sorry for ranting....