It's a No-Go for playing at the christmas concert :(

Okay, so, update on the composition(sorry, I know that is all I talk about but that kinda is my life at the moment.) I just found out that I will not be able to play it at the christmas concert. Me and Elin (the song teacher) sat and talked about it and we decided that it wasn't written for a small ansemble but practically a mini chamber orchestra and that it was way to hard if I wanted to play it....so I will be conducting it instead!! (had you goin there, didnt i?) 13 people playing together is kinda hard to stay together especially when the piece is contemporary and features many canons. So i found an art student that can play clarinet and she will take my place (i am kinda sad about this cuz i was really looking forward to playing and performing the clarinet) and i get to stand in front cunducting...it is sooo fun! I had never done much of it before (ok, so I DID sit in my room conducting the orchestras on the radio and such...a lot) but i never volunteered for it in band cuz i was scared i wouldnt be able to do it right and would just look fumbly and stupid but when i handed out the music and tried rehearsing after like 2 minutes i was like, "this isnt working" and i put down my clarinet and conducted,, just like that. I felt so nice and natural, standing up there directing my peers while they play MY music. I loved it. I think this is really going to push me into being a music teacher now that i know how it feels. Yea, sorry for ranting, i just wanted to tell y'all that.